Following up on my gushing post about Lexapro, I’ve been enlightened yet again about this miracle antidepressant drug. I’ve had a few months of 11 hours per night required sleep, lucid dreams that are too intense (I long for the time when I wouldn’t even remember dreams), the strange feeling that something outside myself is managing my brain, lack of interest in introspection/personal development, and wondering whether my moods/actions/interests are about who I am or about what this little white pill has concocted for me.
Going on Lexapro was an important step. Coming off it is going to be another interesting ride – maybe more slamming the door yelling “F You!” to Stefan – but maybe the real Caity will live here again. The real woman who has doubts and anxiety and fears along with all the good stuff.
I’m glad I started antidepressants cautiously, and that I later gave myself the room to be enthusiastic about them; but it’s time to come back.